Living as you and we did at that time, in a town fraught with bicycle insanity, it was very hard to get an actual bike even from the best guy in town. No wonder you were having problems in the 80s. Not only were all the things you said true, but the two local-owned bike shops were engaged in fierce competition (mostly engendered by the other bike shop) for the position of supreme mucketymuck in relation to a certain alleged sporting event which shall remain nameless. You couldn't get a thing that didn't precisely fit the description of the style you're complaining about. What we referred to as a "touring bicycle" in the 60s was nothing like the monstrosity sold as one in the 80s and 90s.

A few years back, Sears started to sell old-fashioned cruisers under the rubric of "leisure bikes" (or "beach" or "city and recreational" models). The target audience was Centrum Silver types, i.e. old people -- old meaning anyone who couldn't ride one of those aluminum Brazilian bathing suits, I suppose. With the "aging baby boomer" demographic these are getting more recognition and a certain amount of snob appeal. You can now find decent bikes just about anywhere. I guess somebody somewhere wised up, maybe led by that guy mentioned in the previous comment.

(Go to that link, and check out the "Evil Bikes" article. *evil grin* Hey, when we were seven we had a Schwinn Hollywood -- and everybody knows that's the world's worst promulgator of iniquity, sin and vice.)